From a young age most of us try to teach our kids to share because that is what we are taught is the right and “kind” thing to do. However, one mom disagrees and after posting on Facebook about her son not sharing, her post has gone viral and what may surprise you is that many parents are supporting her decision. In fact, many parents are agreeing with her and saying they are rethinking the strategy they are teaching their children when it comes to sharing. Before you allow yourself to get upset behind this idea, you’ll want to check out the moms reasoning… Here is what the mom had to say when posting on Facebook:
“MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS. As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me. “You can tell them no, Carson,” I said. “Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else.” Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, “He doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.” That got me some dirty looks from other parents.”
She went on to say:
Here is the thing though: If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!  Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.  So really, while you’re giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable? The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included. In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend’s little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn’t want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them. The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works?”
 
While this was posted 2 years ago, the story sparked conversation once again over on Reddit where parents are expressing their personal opinions regarding the matter. Some are responding saying: While others are saying things like: For the most part, reddit users and fellow parents agree with the mom and are even saying they are changing their rules when it comes to sharing. Honestly, I can’t say that I blame them. I think the phrase “sharing is caring” is something made back in the day when times were easier and maybe people were friendlier. Now days we fear our kids talking to strangers or being even remotely close to them to even be able to “share” their belongings with them. I think sharing among friends and family is a great trait to teach your kids but beyond that, is unnecessary.  Strangers are strangers for a reason, we don’t know them, their character or their intentions and I think that rule can totally apply in situations like this. Yes, even with young kids, we can’t assume they’ll return an item our kid shares with them, right? I am curious to hear what other parents think though! What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with this mom?



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5 Comments

  1. If my 3 year old decides to bring toys to a public playground, it is expected that he will share with other kids. Those toys he chooses not to share are left at home. It is human nature for small children to want to explore and join in someone else’s play. If my child just wants to keep to himself and play with his toys and not socialize, he can stay home.

  2. This is brilliant. I teach my kids to share with family and friends but I also know they have their special things, and sometimes they don’t want to share that and that’s OK help your family or friends to find something else they might like that they can play with. I agree whole heartily.

  3. I am an only child and growing up I did not want to share in kindergarten. Mom then put me in Catholic school. Kindness is not necessarly sharing. That is a childs choice. Some children are rough with toys not their own. Share? That is up to the child. The child needs to make the decision.

  4. I agree with writer. I will add that there are times when siblings don’t have to share. If the toy belongs to the child he can say no. Both children learn about boundaries. How to day no and how to respect boundaries.

  5. I definitely think that sharing toys between family and friends is a good thing to teach a child. But definitely be weary of strangers. I live in a small community so if a kid came up wanting to share with my boys I would encourage for them to share and play with others as 90% of the time I’ll know the other parents however if we were to go to the city I’d look for my child’s cues and how he feels about a situation before ever forcing him to do something he wouldn’t want to.