Children can be confident, and that’s a great thing, but often the line between confidence and arrogance is a thin one. If your child begins to act arrogant, he will start bragging more often, hiding his own flaws or putting others down so he can make himself feel better.
An arrogant child is not pleasurable to be around. His inflated ego and superior attitude cause him to be disliked and often avoided by other children. No parent wants to see their child suffer this type of experience.
Children are not born arrogant.
This is a negative attitude that develops over time.
Most children who display arrogance are bright, talented and self-confident. It is when confidence is not tempered with humility that too much pride sets in and negates all of the good qualities the child possesses.
If you witness your child behaving with arrogance, there are steps to take which could mitigate or alleviate the issue and allow your child to enjoy more friendly interaction with his peers.
How parents can curb arrogance in children:
Identify the root of the problem.
Look at your child’s development in retrospect. Was he super-smart as a toddler and encouraged to show off his precocity in front of adults to satisfy your feelings of pride?
Was he given the message through doting parenting that he was the center of the universe, and thus acquired a skewed sense of his importance and a sense of entitlement?
Parents who overindulge a child with too much praise and attention do sometimes create an arrogant child. This mainly has the potential to occur when the child is proficient in one specific area, such as sports or academics. The parents are in awe of their over-achiever and promote his “cuteness” to the point that he is promoting it himself. What was “cute” at three or four, becomes boorish and can look braggy or arrogant by the time the child is in grade school.
Talk to the child’s teachers.
Chances are, if your child is behaving arrogantly at home, he could potentially be displaying the same negative behavior in school. Talk to the child’s teachers and coaches to adequately grasp the scope of the problem.
Make them aware that you are dealing with the issue and prevail upon them to be patient with your child and to apprise you when they see signs of improvement.
Talk to your child in private.
While pervasive arrogance is a trait you want to correct, and cannot ignore, neither do you want to humiliate your child by reprimanding him in front of others. Each time you witness your child acting superior, ridiculing others, contradicting adults or displaying any other form of rudeness, take him aside and talk with him about the ramifications of his behavior. Give the firm message that arrogance is unacceptable.
Arrogant children want to fit in and be liked. They may even lack the people skills to interact appropriately to bring about positive relationships. As the parent, it is your responsibility to teach the child and give him the tools to behave differently.
Be a positive role model.
Examine your interpersonal relationship skills. Do you always have to be right, and put down the opinions of others. In a debate, must you always win? If you discover through honest introspection that you are modeling arrogant behavior to your child, then it is time for an attitude adjustment on your part, as well.
Children learn what they live. If your child sees you behaving with courtesy, kindness, and humility toward others, he is going to emulate your positive behavior.
Many arrogant children feel inferior and cover their feelings of inadequacy by bragging about the excellent skills they possess in one specific area, and lord their success over others. They often are jealous of siblings or schoolmates who seem to have more friends and more comfortable interactions.
Continue to praise your child for his positive behaviors, to balance the lessons regarding arrogance, to keep the child’s self-worth intact.
Sympathize with your arrogant child’s plight and determine to help him overcome the negative behavior with gentle, firm and loving guidance. As a caring parent, teach your child what arrogant behavior is, why it is disturbing to others, and how to curb it.
Help your child to be unselfish.
Guide your child into volunteering in a community service project. Joining him in this endeavor is even more effective. Teaching your child to think about others is an excellent way to direct his attention outward and offset arrogant tendencies. Helping others is a positive method of instilling compassion and keeping the child’s self-esteem intact while teaching him to be less self-centered.
If arrogance in children is not curtailed, the attitude exacerbates over time. Help your child to eliminate any trace of arrogance for him to become a well-adjusted adult enjoying a future filled with positive relationships.
Learn to Un-Spoil your child, as hard as it may seem… it’s worth it.
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