Are your kids acting entitled? When we do so much for our children, including their chores, you are doing them such an inservice. I know that you think- you think that you are helping. I understand! I’ve been there ¦ I am there. We all are.
Kids Acting Entitled
Use today, right now, to really look into why you are doing those things for them.
Why do you do their chores?
Why do you just buy them a new toy when their toy breaks?
Why are you making their beds?
Why do you put their clothes away?
Why do you write their teacher a note when they lose their homework, instead of having them tell their teacher and take the responsibility on their own shoulders.
Why do you pick up their backpacks when they get thrown by the door after school?
Why do we do it for them?
We love them ¦ we have always loved them and helped them.
We are doing it because we don’t want to hear them complain.
We are doing it because we hate for them to be sad, even for a moment.
We do it because we want to make them feel happy.
We do it because IT IS JUST SO MUCH EASIER TO DO IT OURSELVES!
If you are like me, you are doing it because it is easier (No judging, because I’m right there with ya!).
We are doing it because we are so fast at cleaning (pat on the back for that one, Mama ¦ you’ve learned to clean your house in 10 minutes flat , because you have had all of that practice over the years!)
We are doing it because you love them, but it really isn’t BETTER for our kids, is it? It isn’t really setting them up for success, is it?
A few weeks ago I wrote a post called STOP doing that for your kids and it has been shared, a lot, by moms. I talked about how you need to stop doing everything for your kids because if you do, you are teaching your kids not to do anything for themselves, in the long run. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t help, but just that we don’t need to ‘take over’ – let them help.
In that post, I wrote a little story about our son’s friend that came to visit and what he did that surprised the socks off of me.
And then I wrote this:
Becky – you listen up! You are doing more harm than good!
When we take over for our kids because they are young and it is EASIER ¦ you are doing more harm than good.
When we clean up their rooms for them because they are young and it is EASIER ¦ you are doing more harm than good.
When we let their manners slip this one time, because they are young and it is EASIER ¦ you are doing more harm than good.
When we make their beds for them, because they are young and it is EASIER ¦ you are doing more harm than good.
When we let them get away with Just ok work, instead of what we know they are capable of, because they are young and it is EASIER ¦ you are doing more harm than good.
Or to put it as Rachel from A Mother Far From Home put it ¦ You know what I think when I hear people say “Moms, stop worrying about clearing the table or cleaning the kitchen. Just relax and have a nice evening with your family, the dishes will be there later.” I THINK ¦ “or they could get off their backsides for 5 minutes and help clean so everyone can have fun and relax, and the mom doesn’t have to go back to the kitchen after everyone else is in bed.”
When we do things for them all of the time ¦ it hinders them from succeeding on their own.
One day ¦ soon ¦ your kids are going to have to do it in their OWN houses. Do you know what happens when you do it for them NOW? They will expect their spouse, their roommate, their PARENTS to do it for them then.
They can do it. Have faith in them.
I want you to STOP doing that for your kids, today, right now. Stop treating your kids like they can’t do it themselves. Stop limiting what they can do by what time you have on your clock, because, yes, it is much faster to clean for our kids than it is to let them do it themselves.
Let your kids feel like they are part of this family team and you NEED them to help you to make it work.
Here is the way that I explain it to my kids:
‘When you do your part and take care of your things, it gives me more time to play with you.
If I am cleaning up after you all day, I will not have time to lay with you at night or play board games with you or have our special nights. I need you to help me because you are part of this family and you are valued and your work matters! You can do it. I have faith in you.”
Thanks for reading! I hope that this was encouraging to you and that you will teach your sweet children to help you clean and take responsibility now, so that they will not act entitled, but instead act like grateful responsible adults in the future.