I have been struggling lately to get obligations off my schedule.
It is something that has been a struggle for me from nearly birth. There is just so many things to do in this world…and I would love to be at the center of them. It is one thing to be going to school, have a part time job and manage bunch of extra-curricular activities.
It is a whole new level of over-commitment to have three boys going to school, partially home school, have a part time job and manage bunch of extra-curricular activities for full family…oh, and the house.
I think I need a nap.
Balancing work and family
About 8 years ago I learned to say no to things I didn’t want to do. It wasn’t easy. It made my people-pleasing heart hurt the first few times I did it, but it worked.
Just say no.
Now I need to master the saying no to things that I WANT to do, but just shouldn’t.
You know those things…
- I have wanted to do that forever!
- That is an opportunity I just can’t pass up!
- It sounds like fun!
No. No. No.
Do I really HAVE to say no?
Yes. I really do. And it isn’t just for altruistic, sacrificing-for-family reasons. It is to preserve control over MY schedule.
Those things I have wanted to do forever, those opportunities that just can’t be passed up, the fun are all things that take control and then need to be worked around. They can end up creating more stress than they are worth.
In the last 11 years, I have found myself a bit too uncoordinated to create balance in motherhood. What I have settled into is more of a state of crisis prevention and response.
There is no Martha Stewart in a crisis prevention and response center. My expectations of what I could realistically accomplish are being realigned. My definition of success has been lowered.
At the end of the day if my boys are all safely tucked into their beds with a hug, that is a win.
There will be dishes in the sink. There will be a half completed art project on the kitchen table. I promise someone forgot to put away a bike which will likely be run over by the car in the morning…
I have a few hours clear in my schedule tomorrow for such a crisis.
Have YOU been caught between YOUR family life and YOUR creative or career aspirations?
What would have to change ”in your life, in people's attitudes, or in our society ”for YOU to have an easier time managing work-life balance?
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