Divorce is hard on any family, but then what happens when step parents enter the equation? It’s so hard not to feel step parent jealousy because of the new man or woman in your child’s life. Finding the balance as both families change and grow can be a difficult task.
-My oldest son has a stepmom. She calls him her son, and he calls her Mom. In my eyes, she deserves that title. I can see how much she loves my son, and how good she has been to him. I feel lucky that my son has so many people that love him and want to support him. You have to put your own feelings aside and think of your child(ren) first. That is a big part of what being a parent means.
–My ex got remarried before I did and his wife took to my kids. She was all over Facebook with the “my” boys, and posting pictures and gushing about how she loved her family. It hurt for a while….to see MY kids love on another woman, and take to her. But then, I started to realize this was a good thing. There are so many step parents that want nothing to do with their step kids, hateful people, I was actually lucky to have this woman. I made her my ally, she would always come to me first before making any decisions.
–I completely understand that this must be very hard for you, but don’t think of it like she is trying to steal your son – a mummy can never be replaced. But how lucky he is to have 3 parents who care for him!
-I am a stepmom and a bio mom. I refer to my step kids as my kids and occasionally they call me mom. I love all of the kids the same. My bio kids have a stepmom too and I would have no issue with them calling her mom. We should want our kids to know as much love as possible, not be worried about who’s feelings they are going to hurt.
Here are some great books for step-parents:
If you are the “other” parent in the family, these resources might help you find your footing as a step parent and related to every one else in the situation a bit better!
Blended Families by Lilli Morgan
Here are even more great articles about step-parent jealousy:
I love how they describe the basic root of jealousy in this article about blended family jealousy from Blended Family Focus
This is an interesting perspective on the role that the other Mom plays in your blended family: What Divorced Moms Should Know About Step-Moms from No One’s the Bitch
Not sure where you fit into the family? This is all about What Role Should a Step-Parent Play? by Dr. Phil
Blended families are a beautiful thing, but finding the strength to work together and figuring out how that looks in your families is definitely a trick! We’d love to hear your advice on our Facebook page!