The Pros and Cons of Parenting Failure
Hi, my name is LaShawn and I am a parenting failure ¦
The amazing thing is ¦I am OK with my failures.
* Chase will be 3 years old in two months and has not even begun potty training. He has no interest and runs the other way if you mention it. At this rate Evan will be potty trained before Chase.
* Evan still nurses several times a night and sleeps with us from about midnight on.
* One of Evan's favorite toys is a Cabbage Patch Doll.
* My older boys sometimes do not get in trouble for marks they receive at school. The lovely part of parenting is I get to decide those types of things.
*When my boys laugh at each other over inappropriate usage of words such as balls or nuts , I laugh with them while telling them that isn't appropriate dinner conversation.
* I sometimes forget to give my kids their vitamins.
* I even forgot Brodie's antibiotic this morning.
* My kids had to wear dirty socks to school because I refused to go find all their socks to wash since they were not in the hamper.
I am totally OK with my failures, because I have learned something in the last nine years of parenting. Want to know the secret?
EVERY SINGLE FAMILY IS DIFFERENT!
Each of my kids have incredibly different personalities and different timetables for things. So what if Chase isn't potty trained? I am the one who has to change his diapers ¦not some expert. I refuse to FORCE a small child to do something he is clearly not ready for. So what if Evan still nurses at night and sleeps with us? I am getting enough sleep and he will be out of our bed sometime before he is ready for college. I am no longer buying into the ridiculous notion that all kids need to do XYZ at the exact same age as all other kids. Chase might not want to use the potty but he can already speak better than a lot of 4 year olds I know.
We are so worried about these little things that we forget the big things. In all the time you were competing with the other moms over milestones did you ever once think about your child's eternal milestones. Does he know who Jesus is? Does he know that God loves him even when his teacher gave him 2 marks that day?
So ¦there you have it. I gladly join the ranks of the parental underachievers. I will excuse the overachievers to go to their fifth extra curricular thing with their child of the week while my kids and I go make mud pies in the backyard.
Evan and his baby say ¦ENOUGH WITH THE INSANITY!
GREAT article!! It is always refreshing to hear from other mothers who take the “expert’s” advice with a grain of salt. Our son slept with us until he was about 4, then he wanted a mattress on our bedroom floor, so that’s where he sleeps now.
He had a paci until he was about 3 1/2. He decided HE was ready to send it away to the babies & it was totally his call. No crying. No broken hearts (well, mine maybe). He was ready in his own time.
He prefers to drink from a cup with a sipper lid as opposed to a straw or open cup. I know he CAN drink from something else, but he prefers his sippers & he stays well hydrated with water anytime he wants it. Someday he’ll choose a different cup, but for now it works. Why make him change it?
He didn’t care two licks about potty training until about 3 1/2. For us, it wasn’t worth pressuring him to get it done. I knew he wouldn’t be in pull-ups forever. And sure enough, when he was ready, he picked out his undies at the store & it literally took two days to be potty trained. And he has had only a few accidents from the start.
My boy, he prefers to sleep with no clothes on. Why not? It may not be PC, but he’s comfortable.
I never understand why some parents feel the need to take these types of decisions away from their kids. I guess there’s pressure from preschool, or other places to reach certain milestones at a certain time. We are homeschoolers, and aren’t bound by these “timelines”…our son reaches his milestones when his little body is ready!
OH….and it’s certainly not a failure to choose a unique path!!
love it! love it! love it! So true on every level. I’ve always said, “Whatever works for your family”. You are so right… those other moms don’t have to take care of your family, so what makes them think it’s their business?
Great job, LaShawn!
I remember when I was pregnant with my first child, one of my mom’s friends pulled me aside to offer a piece of reassuring advice. She wanted me to know that when I would be learning the ropes and making inevitable ‘mistakes’, nobody was watching. She wanted me to know that it was okay to make it up as we went along and made choices that were right for our family. I have never forgotten her wise words.