There has been a little revolt at Holly’s house. As you know, some have complained, some have whined and some have threatened. I am here to offer an ultimatum.
I am Holly’s range.
I have noticed something. I have a lot of time on my hands to observe because I am rarely in use. In fact, reflecting Holly’s fuzzy slippers in this picture is the most work I have done all week.
It’s not that Holly stays out of the kitchen. She is ALWAYS there. She uses other appliances. The microwave and dishwasher seem to be in perpetual motion. She also has her favorites. The coffee maker.
The computer. I know this isn’t actually a kitchen appliance, but she doesn’t seem to grasp that.
I have to hand it to her. The girl can make some toast.
and some more toast.
This is hard for me to admit. This hurts me to the core. This is why other appliances mock me. This is why drastic measures are required. This is no joke. This is another appliance that sees more action then I do:
I know it seems incomprehensible that a barnyard waffle maker is in use more than I. Do you feel my pain? Do you see why action is my only choice? Where did it all go so wrong? Why me? Is she insane?If I am not used consistently (once daily x 14 consecutive days) over the next two weeks, I am posting myself on eBay:
Stainless steel range. Pristine condition. Very little use.
Crying for attention,
Holly’s Range
Appliance envy… Gotta love it! That is one cool coffee maker, by the way.
I have bad news, Range. Perhaps Holly is cheating on you. With that georgeous, huge range in the kitchen. It’s out of your line of sight…perhaps she put it that way on purpose.
But that range is beautiful. Not to take away from YOUR beauty. You sparkle baby!
But the range around the corner looks as if it could cook for an army. Perhaps Holly is spending her oven time with the Army Range.
I’m just saying. Face the music. You’re second fiddle. I’m noting if not honest 🙂
hehehehehe
Dear Range:
Consider yourself a piece of art. Like in a museum. Where people are not allowed to touch the art.
You are art. You are beautiful. Tell Holly to keep her hands off.
Not that you’ll notice any difference. You and my range should go out sometime.
Signed,
Jennifer, a patron of the (kitchen) arts
You could start reheating your leftover takeout pizza in her instead of in the microwave.
I never new ranges had such emotion. Poor neglected thing. But I totally dig the barnyard waffle maker.
Poor thing! Maybe your range should start a club. I bet it would get lots of members, mine probably would join. Like BUAA, Barely Used Appliances Anonymous.
Ha – I should hook you up with my stairmaster – you could commiserate together!
At least you don’t have to Clean the range. Because I think that is why mine is crying.
You can come to my house–I think you are beautiful and I would use you, daily. Bring the coffee maker with you 😉
i would totally use you baby. totally.