For your math convenience:
Print this handy, dandy toilet paper conversion table and take it with you shopping next time. You might also want to take your calculator. You might also want to take a baseball bat to hit your head repeatedly. Or you could just use your shoe.
Can I just say…..WHY CHARMIN? Why is it necessary to produce 8 products that are actually just one product in variable sizes? It is like they invented their own world over there at The Charmin and things just got out of control. First they invented the “regular roll”. I may have not done proper research for this ground breaking piece of
So, they just named it. Then they thought…gee, I think it would be great to have something a twice the size, and then two and a half times the size and then FOUR TIMES THE SIZE. Stop the madness Charmin. Next thing we know we will be carting home big wheels of toilet paper the size of truck tires that are 64 times the size of the fictional regular roll.
Then they went on to price each roll differently. Then they went on to package each roll differently. Then they market their product to mommies that are suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t do advanced math in their heads standing in the paper product aisle at Target supervising three children who are independently making their own selections of plates, plastic spoons and cartoon character decorated paper towels while screaming loudly and calling for a game of hide and go seek. OH! And once you do choose your mega package (not to be confused with the mega roll which is 4 times the size of a regular roll)…it WILL NOT FIT IN THE CART. Just carry it under your arm while wrangling the three kids and pushing the cart (do I need to draw a picture?).
Conspiracy?
Let me just add this little tid-bit before you decide…Has anyone ever checked out Charmin’s math? Now, I don’t want the legal team of Charmin descending on the Nirvana, but I am just sayin’…
Personally, I boycott Charmin. They are taking over the world. And the toilet paper…crumbles in your hands.
You’re spending far too much time in the toilet paper aisle. I just go in, grab the Charmin (cause it’s the softest) Mega Roll (cause it lasts the longest) and I’m on my way to the chocolate aisle. Chocolate, you know, is very good for your digestive system–not to mention the Charmin company.
Too funny. I just buy my regular Angel Soft (I think) and ignore the rest. I’m usually one to find the best deal, but I can’t handle it with the TP. Paper towels aren’t much better. If those people don’t watch it, I may have to boycott altogether. It is only the thought of increasing the amounts of nasty rags rotting in my laundry room that keeps me from boycotting paper towels.
2 additional questions for the folks at charmin:
1. why make the rolls so large that they won’t go “around” on my tp holder (yes, it is ALL ABOUT ME THIS MORNING) … I still have to buy the base size (you know, the original that the multiples are made from) and I am having trouble finding the non-mega, ultra … the big rolls!
2. why can’t you make an ultra-strong AND ultra soft tp at the same time?
I heard someone use the term “philosophical,” and alliteratively, too.
The Doctor (of Philosophy) is here to answer your questions:
(1) Yes, we need the pithy commentary on the paper towel rolls. Because this kind comes in packages of eight at most, while packages of plain paper towel are more likely to exceed the cubic capacity of the cart (as Holly was saying in re Charmin).
(2) The giant packages of paper products can be transported to checkout if you give one of the aforementioned wrangled children a separate cart. They’re not heavy, because they’re only paper, and they take up too much room for the kiddos to slip in the giant packages of Oreos or Sour Punch Straws.
We do Member’s Mark, by the way, because it is cheapest, and most of our toilet paper ends up discarded, unused, on the floor; some members of our family seem to roll or fold up the portion they intend to use and then find it unacceptable, so drop it and get some more. Or it ends up moistened and thrown against the ceiling, where it will remain, hardened, until we are all dead and buried.
This post is so funny to me… and true. Sometimes I stand in the toilet paper aisle of the supermarket all day, trying to figure it all out.
Can I just tell you how impressed I am that you’ve taken a fleeting thought I’ve had the grocery store and turned it into a fabulous, cohesive post? Very impressed.
See, I’m with you. I have often wondered why the Charmin folks can’t just do 1 roll of tp, tell you how many sheets are on that roll, estimate how many sheets are used by every child, man, & woman…and then give you approximate figures for how long this should last? Seriously?!
wow…this is an issue! we always say at my house…always buy toilet tissue and ketchup because thats’s what we never have. i stress over which one to buy too. just wish they would fool me and place it at the end of the aisle and i would think i was getting a deal!
While you’re at it–what do you think about the philosophical paper towel messages? Do we really need to pollyanna-esque platitudes while wiping up puppy pee off the floor?