Dear Nirvana Reader,
This is a plea for help. I could be beautiful. I am neglected.
I can prove it.
This is my life:
8:00 am:
Please don’t make me tell you what meal
yesterday the Frito is from.
No one swept me last night.
No one swept me this morning.
10:30 am:
Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.
Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.
1:15 pm:
Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.
And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.
4:00:
Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here.
See that marker?
Non-washable.
She is insane…3 boys and she buys a
non-washable marker?
Do you see what I am dealing with here people?
6:30 pm:
Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.
Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…
ah, I can feel the joy already.
7:45:This is getting a bit irritating.
The
broom
is
right
here.
Please.
Please use it!
9:00 pm:Are you kidding me? It’s getting quiet around here.
No one loves me. She just walks by. Leaving the broom here is just evil.
It is like she is mocking me.
6:15 am:I just spent the whole night dreaming of that broom. Bet she just puts it away and I live like this through another day.
For the love of Frito’s, could you just humor me and pick that ONE up?
Pleadingly,
Holly’s kitchen floor
P.S. I originally made this plea in March of 2008. Things haven’t changed much around here except the addition of handfuls of Legos…
help.
Please don’t make me tell you what meal yesterday the Frito is from.
No one swept me last night.
No one swept me this morning.
10:30 am:
Yes, now I am enduring not only REAL food, but faux food as well.
Please notice that the Frito remains. It is like an itch I cannot scratch.
1:15 pm:
Great. Smashed goldfish were added from lunch.
And the stickers. I never can be free from the stickers.
4:00:
Yes, the wide shot is better to see the real picture of what is happening here. See that marker? Non-washable.
She is insane…3 boys and she buys a non-washable marker?
Do you see what I am dealing with here people?
6:30 pm:
Whew. Progress. First time all day that progress is being made.
Toys picked up…well, actually scooted to the adjoining concrete floor (don’t get him started) to make room for the broom…ah, I can feel the joy already.
7:45:
My floors are probably saying the same thing. It’s everyone not just you. I am going home and cleaning tonight. They will be so happy!
You obviously don’t have dogs. No fritos survive on our kitchen floor. But the dog hair…oh, the dog hair.
BTW, threw a potluck today. You’re invited.
Tell your floor to put her big girl panties on and just deal with it. Sheesh.
Holly’s floor: Hang in there. It will be over soon. Think of Frito as a snack and be thankful you have no gauges or ugly holes.
your concerned and caring friend, Rhonda
HA!!!! You need some dogs who will eat floor food. Our floors have nary a scrap…NOT because we’re clean or because I actually clean the floor. They hoover up any bits before they hit the floor!!!
Your floor and my floor could have great bitch sessions together. They would become life long friends.
KEEP BELIEVING
You need a Dust Buster. I got one for Christmas (and yes, I asked for it) and my floors have never been happier!
This is brilliant! I was laughing the whole way through. Your floor and my floor could unionize. Except that Frito wouldn’t have lasted 10 minutes, since we have a dog. Everything else would still be there, though.
I feel your (floor’s) pain.
Tell your floor I’ll send Tahoe right over. That Frito would have been gone in 1.4 seconds flat AND there would have been a nice polished SHEEN to the wood. At least until the slobber dried.
That was cute!
have you picked up the frito yet?!