Laughter is the best medicine.

Thank you Facebook fans!   You made my kids day.   Last week we asked for some new jokes – read our “old” joke page – my kids love to sit and read jokes!   We wanted new jokes and asked you to submit your kids favorites.

lunch box jokes to print

Thank you!

Silly Animal Jokes – with a printable!

You went above an beyond.   My kids were laughing hysterically for hours – you gave us over 230 jokes!!!   Wowsers!

Here are the “animal themed” jokes.

I hope to print these and put one into their lunches each day!

If you have a joke to share, go to our facebook wall and tell us it!   My kids will love it!   And stay tuned, we will be sharing more jokes from the collection you sent our way over the next few weeks.


Animal Jokes for Kids

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?   A pouch potato! “ Heather

What do you call a bear with no teeth??   A gummy bear!! haha “ Erica

Why did the bee get married?   Because he found his honey “ Maria

What do you call a really old ant?   An-antique! “ Stephanie

What does a cow sound like that doesn’t have any lips?   Oooo “ Shasterin

What’s invisible and smells of bananas?   Monkey burps “ Kelly

What do you call a dinosaur that won’t have a bath?   A stinkosaurus. “ Carleen

What do you call a fly without wings?   A walk “ Tara

What do you call a dinosaur in your bed?   A dino-snore-us!! “ Rebecca

When are cars and frogs similar?   When they are being toad “ Abby

What do you call a line of rabbits that takes a step back?   A receding hare line. “ Samantha

What does a daddy buffalo say when his son goes to school?   Bison “ Cheri

Why do fish like salt water?   Because pepper makes them sneeze! “ Betty

What does the teddy bear say to the other teddy bear?   I am stuffed. “ Lauren

Why did the Chicken cross the road?   Answer: Google It “ Robin

Why did the chicken cross the road?   Hotdog. Pencil. “ Jen’s Son.

Why dont you see elephants playing hide and seek?   Because they’re REALLY good at it! “ Pam

Where do cows like to go shopping?   Moo York “ Tanya

How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.   How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. “ Megan

What do pigs put on their sores?   Oinkment. “ Sarah

What do you call a bear with no ears?   B “ Pennie

Why did the turtle cross the road?   To get to the shell station! “ Roxanne

What for u call a cow with no legs??   ……. ground beef! Hahahahaaa. “ Amber

What do you call a deer with no eyes?   I have no ideer. “ Kayla

What happens when a dinosaur doesn’t take a shower?   It becomes extinct (ex-stinked) “ Angie

When’s a black bird never a Blackbird?   When it’s a crow! “ Beth

How do bees get to school?   On the school buZzz (bus) “ Sarah

jokes about animals printable

Jokes to Print

What do you call a dinosaur policeman?   Tricera-cops “ Anna

What do you call a cow laying on the barn floor?   Ground Beef!! “ Amy

Why did the cow cross the road?   To get to the udder side “ Amanda

Why cant freddie ride a bike?   Because freddie is a FISH!!! “ Tara

What kind of music do bunnies like?   Hip-Hop! “ Evan

Why does a panda have two black eyes?   Because it didn’t look where it was going. “ Jen

Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?   If he lifted the other one, he would fall down. Haha “ Jamie

Why did the chicken cross the park?   To get to the other slide. “ Marsha

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” “I don’t know, why?”   “I don’t know either, why did the gum cross the road?” “I don’t know, why?”   “Because it was stuck to chickens butt!” “ Chantel

Why don’t they play cards in the jungle?   There’s too many cheetahs! “ Roxane

What do u call a man with a seagull on his head?   Cliff “ Emma

Why did the cowboy buy a weenie dog?!   Cause he wanted to get-a-long little doggie!! “ Leslie

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs…? A wonky.   What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye….? A winky wonky.

What do you call a piano playing donkey with three legs and one eye….?   A honky tonky winky wonky!! “ Kirsty

How do u catch a squirrel??   Climb up a tree & act like a nut. “ Rhonda

What do you get when you cross a chicken with an octopus?     Hot Wings for everyone! “ Julie

Q: Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?   A: Because the cow has the udder! “ Lindsay

Why wouldn’t the lobster share?   Because he was shellfish! “ Lindsay

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?   Ten-tickles! “ Sarah

What did the pony say when it fell? —     I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up… “ Angie

What do you do when your stuck inside an elephant?   Run around til You’re all Pooped out. “ Kyadda

If cars have hub caps what do camels have?   Hump caps “ Heidi

What’s your favorite bird?   *punches arm* OW! “ Alexia

What do u call a spider on the wall who’s missing all of it’s arms?   Art

What do you call an armless spider on the floor? Matt
What do you call an armless spider floating in the water? Bob   – Kristine

lunch box jokes to print

More and more jokes for kids

How did the turtle call his Mom?   On his shell phone! “ Maria

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?   A walkie talkie! “ Jodi

What did the hot dog say when he won the race?   I’m a weiner “ Elizabeth

Did you hear they found bones on the moon?   The cow didn’t make it! “ Neets

Why did the other cow cross the road?   He wanted to go to the moooovies! “ Tina

How do you scare a bee?   Boo bee! “ Becky

What is purple and barks?   A grape dane “ June

What do you call an cow with its 2 right legs shorted than it’s left?   Lean beef “ Becky

What noise does a bee make?   Buzz-buzz!

What noise does a bee flying backwards make?   Zzub-zzub!   – Ashley

What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?   Magpie. “ Bianca

Where do lions live??   On main street “ Megan

Why did the mouse leave home?   Because his daddy was a rat. “ Chantal

Why did the dog cross the road?   To get to the barking lot! “ Jessica

What is brown and nutty?   Squirrel poo! “ Emma

Why did the chicken cross the road?   To prove to the opossum it could be done! “ Michelle

What’s grey, howls at the moon, and is filled with cement?   A wolf. I just put the cement in to make it hard. “ Pat

Why did the great white shark spit out the clown?   Because he tasted funny! “ Tracey

What’s black and white and ‘red’ all over?   A skunk with a sun burn “ Paula

“What do you call a cat that just came out of the dryer?”   Fluffy. “ Jasmine

Why did the punk cross the road?   Cos it’s ear was stapled to a chicken. “ Mel

Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?   Because Dinosaurs were extinct millions of years before roads. “ Liz

What did the cobbler say to the cat?   Shoe. (Shoo) “ Jacob

Why was the teddy bear full and not hungry?   He was already stuffed!!! “ Desiree

Why do giraffes have long necks?   Because they have stinky feet “ Stacie

What did the bee say to the flower?   Hi honey! – Jamie

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?   Because if they flew over the bay they would be called baygulls (bagels) “ Tawny

Q: What do you call an alligator who wears a vest?   A: An investigator! “ Melisa

What’s wobbly and flies?   A jellycopter. “ Mandy

Why do hummingbirds hum?   Because they don’t know the words! “ Stephanie

Why did the turkey cross the road?   To prove he wasn’t a chicken “ Kelli

Why did the mom throw butter out the window?   She wanted to see a butterfly! “ Romy

What do you call spiders that just got married?   Newly webs. “ Rosemarie


Want to read more Jokes?   Check out our other joke pages.

or these other hilarious jokes for kids!

or try these funny school jokes.

Check out this printable kids joke book!

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