the joke

This story unfolded yesterday on the way home from my in-laws.   I took the boys down for a visit and we spent a fun afternoon swimming. Traffic on our return trip was extremely slow due to an accident and the boys got into deep discussion.   I sat in the driver’s seat wishing I had the ability to record everything that was said. These discussions are rare among my boys…to hear what each is thinking in real time and how they respond to each others’ thoughts. Most interaction in my house is physical. Most talking is in the form of trash. Ryan(10) and Reid(8) were chatting about kids they know at school and how one boy was an encyclopedia of bad words.   This boy wasn’t content keeping these words to himself and according to what I overheard would walk up to other children and whisper in their ears imparting his knowledge. It is so annoying!   AND these aren’t just bad words like STUPID and SHUT UP.   They are MUCH worse. Rhett(5) was listening to each and every comment about school kids taking mental notes for his upcoming Kindergarten debut.   He would jump into the discussion to add his absolute agreement with any older brother wisdom. That boy IS annoying.   I don’t want to hear bad words! The topics flew by much quicker than the miles and as we finally neared home, the boys were telling jokes to each other. I love jokes. There is nothing better than something you can share that triggers a laugh, but joke telling is not in my skill set.   I hear something funny and then forget it immediately.   If you asked me to tell you a joke, I would come up completely blank. That is why when Rhett retold this joke almost in its entirety, I was really surprised.   It is a joke they have heard their dad tell them several times.

A duck walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender says “No.   We don’t sell grapes.” The duck leaves and comes back the next day. He walks into the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender says, “No.   We don’t sell grapes.” The duck leaves and comes back the next day. He walks into the bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender says, “No.   I have told you before that we don’t sell grapes.   If you ask me again, I will NAIL your bill to the bar.”

Rhett was finished and was giggling uncontrollably.   The other boys were also laughing. I was laughing too, but couldn’t handle it.   You can’t just stop a joke BEFORE the punchline.   That is just wrong.   And so I jumped in… Rhett, do you know the end of that joke? No. Well, after the bartender tells the duck that he will nail his bill to the bar if he asks for grapes again, the duck asks the bartender if he has any nails.   He asks that because he knows if the bartender says NO, he can’t nail his bill to the bar.   The bartender says, “No.”   So then the duck asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” Again, laughter ensued.   Which was interrupted by Reid saying… Oh!   I always thought the duck just wanted to build something.