Ever wish you knew what to do or NOT to do when it comes to parenting?
Do you sometimes feel like your parenting has little purpose in the life of your pre-teen or teen?
Would you like to learn how to parent with more passion, purpose and pleasure and remain relevant in the life of your teen without going crazy?
YES? Well I have some sweet truths to share with you and a few tasty tips to help you experience a delicious approach to parenting!
I am first and foremost a mother who absolutely, undeniably loves my only son. In 1992 I was blessed with the most precious gift in the world my son whom I call my big little man even today. From the moment of conception until this very moment I made a conscious decision to be awake, available and aware in my parenting approach. I knew his life would dramatically transform my life and through the wonderful experience of unconditional love my purpose evolved and I am the woman I am today because of him; he is the wind beneath my wings.
I’ve had the privilege and honor to work with 100's of children and families over the past 16 years and oh how this has blessed my soul. I’ve been able to meet people where they are without judgment and be in that space as a counselor, healer, advocate and clinician. The most important role I’ve played when working with youth and families is to simply show up as a flawed human being and BE with them in dark, confusing and unstable positions and show love, compassion and empathy.
Without a doubt my favorite group of people to work with in therapeutic situations are teenagers. I LOVE working with teens because I can see and feel the hope deep in their soul and envision a them transforming into loving, compassionate, competent and compassion adults and human beings. I know for sure God blessed me with th gift of counsel, connection and teens easily respond to and sense my sincere concern for them.
Although I don't actively practice therapy today, I have fond memories of some of the teens I had the opportunity to mentor and coach. These brave youth through their struggles, honesty, transparency and trust taught me some valuable lessons about basic human needs, the ability to thrive and what they deeply desire from their parents.
The truth is, when I was behind closed doors in a counseling session with these young people there was one universal truth. They were in their current situations because of something (or many things) that their parents did or did not do, provide or ensure they had. When I sum it all up into one clear theme, children want to be seen, heard and loved unconditionally. As they transition into adolescence and early adulthood they need that even more along with guidance, trust, respect and inspiration.
I will be eternally grateful for each child and each family I worked with for they gave me more than I could ever give them. They taught me how NOT parent my own son. They taught me how to be present, available and compassionate with my son. These youth taught me how important the quality of a relationship impacts the future live a child.
If I can leave you with one final thought ¦it would be to treat your children not as property but as a special gift that is a temporary loan to you. They do not really belong to us they are God's children and we must treat them as such.
I hope you enjoy these lessons. I hope that you begin to incorporate them into the relationship you have with your children right now. Finally, I hope that you know, embrace and fully own the privilege of being parent. You are indeed blessed with a divine gift ¦now go open those gifts like it's the first time ¦
With Mother’s Day approaching I thought it would be a sweet treat to share with you a few ways to make parenting more delicious and less of a struggle.
Lesson #1 Relationships Are Primary: No matter what challenge you may be experiencing with your teenager, the most important thing to remember and consider at all times is the relationship you have or desire to create with your child. You can parent effectively and maintain a great relationship with your teen.
Success Tip: When engaging with your teen, mindfully consider and ask this one question. Will my actions build up or tear down the relationship I desire to have with my child?
Lesson #2 Focus on Power Plays Instead of Power Struggles: The following points will always lead to power struggles with your teen: You view the relationship as secondary, you put more focus on the child instead of the behavior you wish to address, you lack confidence in your parenting skills, your emotional intelligence may be low, you have an I must win attitude and approach, you lack creativity in your parenting toolbox, and or you make the struggle about you.
Success Tip: Check in with yourself and search your heart for the answer to this question. Am I trying to win in this situation or be compassionate, aware and relevant?
Parenting and raising children in this day and age can be a challenge for both you and your teenager. They are faced with so many outside forces that can overpower your presence as a parent. There will be times when you want to pull your hair out, scream and or go to the moon and back but there are ways to keep your cup full so you can lovingly parent from your overflow. A wise woman once told me, Catrice you must keep your soul cup full. Keep it full of peace, love, and joy and NEVER serve others directly from your cup. Focus on filling up your cup so you can energetically serve others from your overflow by allowing them to sip from the saucer only. I will never forget these powerful words and I hope you will do the same.
Here are 2 ways to make sure your cup stays full…
?Check your daily to do list (the mental list too) and move yourself to the top of the list everyday. You cannot parent effectively and lovingly if you are tired, exhausted, stressed out, angry or depleted. The extra bonus is that you will have more clarity and energy to parent awakened and you ™ll teach your children how to respect and honor your value, time and energy.
?Care for yourself. Add your favorite things to do to your list of things to do and DO them. At least once a week be sure to do something special for you. You can stop and read a book, take a bubble bath, treat yourself to lunch, go shopping for you, get a manicure or pedicure and or just take a walk. This YOU time is essential to keeping your cup full; it also affirms that you have a life too and that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
To receive the other 8 lessons please visit my website and grab your copy of the special report “10 Lessons I Learned From Teens Who Just Want to Be Seen, Heard and Loved absolutely FREE.
Also it’s not too late to sign up for the Feed-Play-Love telesummit for parents where you will receive additional information, inspiration, tools and resources to BE a more passionate parent. The summit ends on May 10, 2012 so be sure to sign up today.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY,
I hope you allow all the deliciousness you deserve to fill your cup until it flows over…
Catrice M. Jackson, M.S., LMHP, LPC
International Speaker, Message Mentor, Platform Coach & P-Spot Passionista
Radio Show Personality and International Best-Selling Author
2012 Stiletto Women In Business Award Winner Entrepreneur of the Year (Education & Training) www.catricejacksonspeaks.com