I Just Lied to My Kid’s Teacher

I just lied to my kid’s teacher.

Straight up flat out lied like a bandit.

I Just Lied To My Kids Teacher

I walked in late to preschool with my daughter in tow and her teacher says to me, “Is the Show and Tell Bag and today’s snack  out in your car?”

*Panic Face*

I totally forgot all about show and tell day. How could I do that? I am super mom!

Here’s what I should have said, “Oh, wow. I forgot. I’ll run home to grab it and be back in fifteen minutes.”

That’s what I should have said. But for some reason,  I said this instead, “Oh, yeah. Let me just run out there and get it.”

What? Seriously? Let me just run out and get it? What did I think? I had a secret stash of kid appropriate tasty treats and an educational toy that doesn’t make me look like the worst mom ever just sitting in the backseat of my Jeep?

So  there I was all wrapped up  in my web of lies. I actually stepped outside, walked to my car, pretended to look around (the teacher’s in the classroom, mind you–she had no idea I was pretending to look around in my car, but still I did it anyway.) Then I went back into the classroom and….

Told the Truth Lied Some More.

“I totally forgot it at home. Do I have time to run and get it?” Geez, what was wrong with me?

“Sure,” the teacher smiles at me. Completely oblivious to my panic and trickery,  “Snack is at 10:30.”

I nod, hope nobody noticed my sweaty palms or my darting eyes and make a mad dash to my car. I frantically call my husband and have him meet me at the curb with instructions to, “find anything made by LeapFrog and make sure the batteries work.”

I haul it to the grocery store, buy like four things of fruit snacks, (why four I have no idea–apparently I thought the act of giving an inappropriately large amount of fruit snacks to the teacher would help atone for my wrongdoings) and sneak to the back of the classroom to shove the bag in my daughter’s cubby when she’s not looking.

On my way out the door the teacher mentions to my daughter that she can’t wait to see what she brought in the show and tell bag.

My daughter’s response?

“Me too, it was sitting next to me empty this morning on my way here.”

Well played teacher, well played.

3 Comments

  1. OMG. I am laughing so hard. I think the next step is to teach your daughter to lie…hmmmm.

  2. OMG. That would totally happen to me. I mean…it didn’t – it happened to you – and for that, I am thankful. But, I bet it happens to me at some point in the next year. Why can’t these kids get with the program?

  3. Screwed Up Texan says:

    Thanks for the laugh jamie! Thats a great story!

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