I may have mentioned that I am raising very
sensitive sons.
And by sensitive I mean overly-reactive.
They are
sensitive about the dark, being alone, vegetables, anything they don’t want to do and
bugs.
BUGS pretty much tops the list – the super-frightening, extraordinarily-horrifying, death-defying list.
I am not a big spider fan so I understand that, but the anguish over ants, flies, moths, beetles, June bugs and roly-polies (
yes, even cute little roly polies) I just don’t get.
And then there is the bug of DEATH…
The bee.
Alias hornet or wasp (
please don’t get technical here, I know they are different, but the boys lump all the bee-like bugs into the bee category).
Note: None of my boys have ever been stung by a bee, hornet or wasp. To my knowledge they are not allergic to any of these stings so quite honestly they are over-reacting just a tad.
For instance, on the way home from school the other day I saw this gorgeous field of wild flowers. I stopped the minivan on the side of the road and left the field-side door open so I could keep track of the boy that was with me as I grabbed my camera and headed the 15 steps to the flowers.
I got about three shots in before the SCREAM OF DEATH coming from the minivan interrupted my floral photography session.
Crap.
I ran to the van to a panicked child who informed me that a BEE the size of TEXAS had invaded the minivan. I searched high and low for this
horrifying species of bee so large that it induced shrieks heard all the way in Oklahoma.
I searched.
and searched.
and searched again.
No bee. I did find a fly…a very freaked out little fly.
Poor fly.
So when we got home I pulled out the
Big Book of Insects for a little remedial bee identification training. While reading the
Big Book of Insects it became clear that this is not the best book to read to children afraid of bugs. The
Big Book of Insects talks about all sorts of rare creepy bugs. The
Big Book of Insects shows pictures taken under magnification of bugs that are crawling
everywhere on
everyone at
all times.
Which might explain why I have been answering incessant questions about bugs that are crawling
everywhere on
everyone at
all times since that little lesson.
Sometimes knowledge is NOT a good thing.
Knowledge about super weird creepy bugs may not be good, but knowledge about how they react to the bugs might not be bad…
Yesterday Ryan(8) came to me with a brilliant plan.
Ryan: Mom, I have an idea.
Me: OK.
Ryan: I think I can win a gold medal in running.
Me: Really?
Ryan: Yes, what I need you to do is as soon as they start the race you need to put a bee behind my back. I can run over 20 mph if I am running from a bee…
And that my friends is how you make
bug lemonade from
bug lemons.
And by sensitive I mean overly-reactive.
They are sensitive about the dark, being alone, vegetables, anything they don’t want to do and bugs.
BUGS pretty much tops the list – the super-frightening, extraordinarily-horrifying, death-defying list.
I am not a big spider fan so I understand that, but the anguish over ants, flies, moths, beetles, June bugs and roly-polies (yes, even cute little roly polies) I just don’t get.
And then there is the bug of DEATH…
The bee.
Alias hornet or wasp (please don’t get technical here, I know they are different, but the boys lump all the bee-like bugs into the bee category).
Note: None of my boys have ever been stung by a bee, hornet or wasp. To my knowledge they are not allergic to any of these stings so quite honestly they are over-reacting just a tad.
For instance, on the way home from school the other day I saw this gorgeous field of wild flowers. I stopped the minivan on the side of the road and left the field-side door open so I could keep track of the boy that was with me as I grabbed my camera and headed the 15 steps to the flowers.
I got about three shots in before the SCREAM OF DEATH coming from the minivan interrupted my floral photography session.
Crap.
I ran to the van to a panicked child who informed me that a BEE the size of TEXAS had invaded the minivan. I searched high and low for this horrifying species of bee so large that it induced shrieks heard all the way in Oklahoma.
I searched.
and searched.
and searched again.
No bee. I did find a fly…a very freaked out little fly.
Poor fly.
So when we got home I pulled out the Big Book of Insects for a little remedial bee identification training. While reading the Big Book of Insects it became clear that this is not the best book to read to children afraid of bugs. The Big Book of Insects talks about all sorts of rare creepy bugs. The Big Book of Insects shows pictures taken under magnification of bugs that are crawling everywhere on everyone at all times.
Which might explain why I have been answering incessant questions about bugs that are crawling everywhere on everyone at all times since that little lesson.
Sometimes knowledge is NOT a good thing.
Knowledge about super weird creepy bugs may not be good, but knowledge about how they react to the bugs might not be bad…
Yesterday Ryan(8) came to me with a brilliant plan.
Ryan: Mom, I have an idea.
Me: OK.
Ryan: I think I can win a gold medal in running.
Me: Really?
Ryan: Yes, what I need you to do is as soon as they start the race you need to put a bee behind my back. I can run over 20 mph if I am running from a bee…
And that my friends is how you make bug lemonade from bug lemons.
They had better find one bitchin’ woman to marry…can you imagine BlogSteadman screaming from the kitchen because there’s a fly on the ceiling? ahahahahahahaha