One of the roles of motherhood that doesn’t seem to be well defined in parenting books is that of
censor.
I guess I expected with three boys I would be a
referee and frequently blow the whistle on physical fouls.
It is the frequency in which I have to enforce the code of conduct for verbal infractions that surprises me.
There are the easy calls.
The black and white.
The completely inappropriate.
I know them well and they usually include some sort of potty language…
literally, toilet talk.
And in my house the especially clever throw in a reference to one’s hindside for good measure.
Oh the joys of motherhood.
But what about the gray areas? Where does the rule book start and stop? What is a mother to do about the current popular childhood rhymes?
1. 2. 3. Barney is my enemy.
I myself have suffered from purple dinosaur hate, so my censorship ruling on this one has been to ignore it.
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.
Stick a pencil up your nose.
Pull the trigger.
Let it go.
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.
OK, I believe the largest infraction here is that it isn’t even clever.
C’mon kids! Show some sense of literary cohesion. Again, the censor ignores.
Knock. Knock.
If you don’t play with me.
I will kill your family.
Holy crap! I am raising serial killers. And to make it worse, the verse isn’t even catchy.
The censor ruled that the verse was completely inappropriate and a tad bit disturbing.
I was a little frightened when I overheard the last one yesterday. I watch Law & Order and know where this
sing-song extravaganza can lead!
*shudder*
And then my mind wandered to actual nursery rhymes.
And when the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby cradle and all.
I just feel like the violence in this one is unnecessary. Why does the bough break? Why does the cradle need to fall? The subject matter seems age inappropriate for a baby, but my inner censor would choose to ignore it.
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.
First of all, playing with fire isn’t something we sing about in a positive manner. Secondly, where is Jack’s mother? Because of the scarce availability of completing this encouraged activity in my house, no censorship action is necessary.
Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater,
Had a wife but couldn’t keep her.
Put her in a pumpkin shell,
There he kept her very well.
The only thing clever about Peter seems to be his ability to make adultery, kidnapping and holding a hostage palatable. I mean, if you substitute
basement for
pumpkin shell, Peter would be serving a life sentence.
Talk about raising a serial killer. The censor rules that this verse is completely inappropriate and a tad bit disturbing.
After considering the historical context of my kid’s rhymes, it is clear that I should hold off on the censorship as to not quash the updated edition of
A Child’s Garden of Verses.
More inappropriate things kids say:
Kids say funny things about marriage
Kids say funny things about world records
Kids say funny things about the library
Grimm Fairy Tales are pretty bad too.
Oh, I know! There seems to be children in peril in ALL those stories!
When my husband started doing nursery rhymes with our daughter- we both felt so bad saying them. So we would make up alternate less scary lyrics. Which made them A) barely rhyme B) Totally suck 🙂
ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
You need to post those ASAP!
My boys have been saying similar rhymes & I have to step in on it. “We don’t talk about shooting people or killing people.”
Now if they want to sing Jeff Foxworthy’s the Redneck Days of Christmas about picking up table dancers, beer and chewing tobacco at the Wal Mart, that’s ok.
Cuz, it’s non-violent. 🙂
That coincides with my belief that if it is truly funny it gets a pass….
My censorship rule is that if it’s annoying, they can’t say it. I think they’re looking into that whole “Vow of Silence” thing.
That should be the rule.
The end.
I remember really feeling very disturbed imagining baby falling from a tree.
And yet, no one else seemed to mind.
Lori, as hysterical 5-year-old: PEOPLE! Babies are FALLING! Do you hear me? FALLING! FROM TREES! Why is there no PSA for this? Where are the telethon people????
I was a tad worked up as a child.
But I’m MUCH better now.
MUCH better.
No drama there.
Nope.
None at all.
I call for the PSA’s too…
LOL. Nursery rhymes are meant to show that not everything in life is peachy. That’s why boughs break & such.
Ok, that does make a little sense…
PS Happy Birthday!
I have a friend whose daughter would cry every time anyone sang “Rock-a-bye Baby.” I can’t blame her at all.
But yes, boys can ruin the most innocent of nursery rhymes sometimes, it’s true….or they can make them just flat-out hilarious: (From a couple of years ago) http://sugar-mommy.blogspot.com/2008/03/conversations-when-youre-sick.html
Holy Smokes! I gave you the wrong link there….that was NOT a conversation among my children. I am so embarrassed. YIKES!
THIS is the link I intended for my comment: http://sugar-mommy.blogspot.com/2009/01/as-long-as-they-dont-start-emulating.html
Darn cut & paste…
hahaha! That last one was a little racy for kids, but still funny!
Yeah, but the more I think about it, that Wee Willie Winkie dellow is really disturbing. I’m fairly certain that he could be arrested for stalking as well as disturbing the peace among other charges. What a perv. Even his name is creepy. He’s got pedophile written all over him.
ugh…Fellow, not dellow. *sigh*
I know it… children’s rhymes and stories were born out of an era that was much more dark than the one we are in now. I bet those mom’s would only wish their biggest stresser was whether or not to allow their kids to watch the Disney channel…
And then in Disney movies the parents are always dead??? What is up with that?
I remember when I pulled out the nursery rhymes for my kids and was stunned at the literal meanings behind them. But, I also knew it was the sing song-iness they like and pay attention to at that age so I didn’t worry about it too much.
However, that Peter Peter was a sick, sick man.
I know! I would hate to have him as a next door neighbor…frightening!
The other one I looked into was Ring around the Rosie since I had heard it was about the plague, but it turns out that might not be true…thankfully :).