This is the very first episode of Holly’s Animated Life (April 2008).  I took my camera to Ikea, but it malfunctioned and then had soooo much to say I ended up drawing it out with markers. Just a little update:  The road from hell is now a toll-way. My closest IKEA is located at the intersection of the daisy-strewn tollway and the road from hell soon to be a tollway. I took the road from hell soon to be a tollway because I am stupid. After much traffic on the road from hell soon to be a tollway, we finally arrived at the big blue happy box, IKEA. The big blue happy box, IKEA opens at 10. BUT the big blue happy box, IKEA serves breakfast to hungry travelers starting at 9:30. Unload the minivan…time for snacks! The big blue happy box, IKEA serves a full breakfast and many snacks. The big blue happy box, IKEA serves all this and a bag of chips for mere peanuts. Mmmmm. After a good breakfast we felt like shiny, happy people shopping at the big blue happy box, IKEA. Let’s get a cart! Oh, the carts at the big blue happy box, IKEA have special, magical shopping cart powers. They may be pushed in ANY direction. Wow. Cool. Super neat. ANY direction except forward. Wow. Cool. Super neat. After about 10 feet… Wow. *What the?* Cool. *Who designed these?* Super neat. *If any IKEA design team personnel steps in my way, I am going to push them over with my cart. They probably have encountered this before and will step directly in front of the cart rendering me helpless. They are so evil and crafty.* Let’s tour the big blue happy box, IKEA while pushing our magical carts in a sideways direction. Wow. Cool. Super neat. The big blue happy box, IKEA designers have made the store into a giant maze. Yeah! Over the loud speaker IKEA plays big blue happy box music and announces that “the average IKEA customer spends 3 hours in the store” I think that the average IKEA customer is insane and not chasing a collective 4 children. Let’s run sideways fast so we can get to the place I need to go… Yeah! I found things I need. I will just pop them into my magical sideways cart. Here is what will fit into the magical sideways cart: This is what I try to fit into the magical sideways cart: Legend: circled in purple: things that I fit into my cart pushing really hard crossed out in purple: things that kept falling out of my cart circled in green: things I put in my friend’s cart circled in orange: things I couldn’t fit in either cart and carried crossed out in orange: things I couldn’t fit in either cart and carried and dropped repeatedly *angel choir sings* Look. Look. Look at this: It is an amazing light fixture that looks like a clear bucket. You can fill the bucket up with ANYTHING (except water…they say specifically no water). You can fill the bucket up with things that coordinate with your room. See how nice it looks in my pretend room? I just love the big blue happy box, IKEA. Let’s go check out! If I can get these magical sideways carts to line up in the narrow aisles…I can go home and stare at my new bucket light. Push. Push. Push. Whew! Now the challenge of unloading my 362 large boxes onto a check-out conveyor belt 1/6 the boxes’ size. I pushed the magical sideways carts to the minivan, loaded the car and we were off. Bye. Bye. Big blue happy box, IKEA. We were out of there in less then 2 hours because we are WAY below the average IKEA customer…



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57 Comments

  1. I love the MAP!! It’s perfect. I barely did this with one kid recently, cannot imagine 4!! But then again the cart, and ALL of the logistics including getting it to my car with rambling 2 year old in tow, caused me to buy very small things for not too much $$ and dream about going back another day… ALONE. I’m actually happy it’s a full hour away. Haven’t been back since, still dreaming. =)

  2. OMG, I totally love the map! Too funny. Great illustrations. 🙂

    I am so loving your blog. So glad I’ve found you..or you found me, whichever the case! It’s great.

    New reader in the house…yeah!

  3. I am that person that spends three hours in IKEA…even when my children were small. Which is why it is a good thing (probably…not really) that the closest IKEA is over an hour away. *sob*

  4. I loved this original, and all of them. How fun to think that what moved you to draw that one adventure has sparked all of these wonderful posts and created a Holly Brand. 🙂

  5. You know I LOVE LOVE LOVE your stick drawings, this is what first brought me to you! I kept coming back because you are so fun and real. Plus, with kids close to the same age, I understand all your fun, frustration and GOOD TIMES posts.

  6. So hilarious and true!

    I actually love the carts at IKEA. They are easy to spin around and around. Maybe that’s why their customers spend 3 hours in the store!