It was a quiet evening at home. The boys were all tucked into their beds…
well, by this time they were most likely congregated in one bed.
Blog-Stedman and I were nestled watching a movie and feeling pretty happy that everything was so calm and it was only 10:30 pm.
I stepped out of bed to run to the bathroom when
my entire body vaulted itself into a standing position on the bed.
And then I screamed.
Blog-Stedman looked up at me…
WHAT’S WRONG crazy screaming woman in my bed?
I pointed down to the floor where
a snake laid coiled on the dark floor approximately 6 inches from where my foot had rested
for less than a nanosecond.
I am no fan of the snake.
I am no fan of the snake in my bedroom.
I might have screamed again.
Poor blog-Stedman. He isn’t really a fan of the snake either, but he was a guy with a screaming wife dancing on the bed so he had no choice but to take action.
Holly, go into the living room and call animal control. I will stay here and watch the snake.
I was
obviously not wearing shoes at that moment which suddenly seemed to be a
very big issue to me. I considered going to get shoes, but decided against it since my closet was now in
snake territory.
So I ran
barefoot and screaming from the room abandoning blog-Stedman and the snake.
I have animal control on speed dial. Since I know them so well, I was aware that they close at 7 pm.
Because of my frequent encounters with
all God’s creatures, I was aware that the local police department takes over for animal control at 7:01 pm each evening so I dialed the non-emergency line to the police department
despite the fact that I feel that a snake in my bedroom is a very big emergency.
While waiting, blog-Stedman would occasionally call out a snake updates.
Not necessary. I was not interested in anything snake-related except snake-removal.
A long-suffering policeman showed up within minutes and seemed a bit amused at me barefoot and in my pajamas pointing him down the hall into
snake territory while plotting how I would never again sleep without shoes.
I might have screamed again.
He was able to capture the snake in a plastic storage bin that I provided.
Whew.
He brought it out to the living room.
Ewww.
For me to see.
No thanks.
He was sweet to ask what I wanted done with the snake.
Don’t care! Just get it out of here.
And that he would return the storage container.
No thanks! I wouldn’t be using that again. Ever. You can keep it!
Statistically the snake was at least 3 feet long and about an inch in diameter. Statistically the snake was not poisonous even though it had markings similar to a copperhead. Statistically I was in no danger.
Statistically I am now wearing
my snake fighting boots in the house.
Holly – I woke up this morning laughing about your re-telling this story at Pokeno last night. Just too funny (having not been the one with the snake in the bedroom – easy for me to laugh!) Please ignore those comments telling you to pack up and move! That would be tragic.
Do you know what they say about women who are afraid of snakes? Just sayin’…
Ha! not necessary, I did not need snake updates! Did the boys wake up during the episode?
I’m pondering here. So, you jumped on the bed to get away from the snake. Clearly you felt safe being on the bed. Yet, you are worried about sleeping in the same bed? I’m thinking you’re safe on the bed. But I hope you wear them boots to bed, just in case! 😉
Boy, am I glad I don’t live in an area that harbors snakes that feel bold enough to enter a house! We just get the occasional mouse…not quite as creepy as a snake.
Wow!! When you said “snake”, I was not picturing one so big as three feet long! I would have been screaming too 😉 Good luck sleeping with those boots on!
We live in the woods also and find snakes all the time!! I have some good stories. The only one inside the house that I know of was only about a foot and my cat was playing with it like a string. Which I thought it was a string as I bent down to pick it up. EEK! BBQ tongs work great for moving snakes outside… or hockey sticks to bash their head off. There are so many versions of copperheads around here, we usually do the later.
Now you have me thinking I should be wearing some snake boots. eeeewww!
While I do not in the slightest envy you with your three foot snake in the house, this story is hilarious. And the reenactment photo? Priceless. I will say, though, that this story makes me really glad to live in Michigan, where critters like this do not exist.
Not as good as fining snake shit in a kitchen cabinet but never finding the snake… Ah, Texas.
I have had them in my house, in my library at work and-just last week-under my feet . I WILL NEVER EVER BE OKAY WITH IT-EVER!!!!
uh, snake-fighting boots? I’m sure that makes for some interesting events in the boudoir.
Can I just tell you how happy (in a weird way) I am that someone else has snake fighting boots. Made me laugh because that is exactly what I call the boots I bought right after finding TWO copper heads on my front porch earlier this year. I’m already worried about scorpions in my bedroom, now I get to worry about snakes! Oh the joys of living out in the country!