A few years ago in celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary, I took blog-Stedman to Las Vegas.
I made all the arrangements as a surprise.
He really doesn’t like to travel and he hates surprises so I obviously wasn’t paying attention in our marriage at that point, but that is not this story.
I had reserved a rental car through one of those online price comparision sites and chosen the cheapest mid-size car. We were not going to be staying on the strip so we would be in need of a car.
We arrived in Vegas and made our way to the car rental place which ended up to be a line of colossal proportions.
We waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, I get to the desk, sign the paperwork and head to the parking lot to find our car.
Our car was a stripped down sedan shell of a car.
It barely had a steering wheel.
I was not amused, but we reluctantly got in our car.
It smelled bad.
It smelled really really bad.
It pretty much stunk.
I wanted to go get a different car, but there was no way blog-Stedman was going back to the desk to re-enter the line of colossal proportions.
So we drive off in the smelly sedan skeleton.
We had gone about 3 miles and had the following conversation:
Him(frustrated): My seat warmer is on.
Me(mocking): This car doesn’t have seat warmers, it doesn’t even have power windows. It must be the sun from where it was parked. We are in Vegas, baby*!
*the baby was added to this story for dramatic effect and did not appear in the actual story.
2 miles later:
Him(exasperated): My seat warmer is on!
Me(exasperated and mocking): THIS CAR DOESN’T HAVE SEAT WARMERS. Why would they need seat warmers in this part of the country? It is January. It is 70 degrees.
1 mile later:
Him(exasperated and desperate): My butt is burning! Get the manual out of the glove compartment and look up how to turn off these seat warmers.
Me(assured and being reassuring): There are NO seat warmers in this car. They don’t need them here and this pile of junk wouldn’t have them anyway.
Right then, no mileage has accrued:
Him(exasperated, desperate and close to tears?): My butt is burning if you don’t get the manual and turn my seat warmer off I am going to stop this car on the side of the road and do it myself.
Me(quietly offended at being spoken to in that manner): Well, OK.
So, I look in the manual and found the seat warmer page*…
*CRAP! A whole page dedicated to seat warmers in this manual is not a good sign for my side of the argument.
…and found the switch*…
*CRAP! There was a switch!
…which could only mean*…
*Really people, put two and two together
..that car had no business having seat warmers.