The day the world crashed in my kitchen…
Episode 1: The Day The World Crashed In My Kitchen
I remember looking at the clock.
It was only 10:30 am.
Earlier, I had moved {OK, pushed aside with my forearm} some of the breakfast mess to place my laptop on the counter.
I had my email open.
And had hit the REFRESH button at least 5 times.
Full disclosure: It was closer to 100.
Why hadn’t she emailed yet?
I looked up and around the room. It was the very definition of chaos. My three boys (under the age of 5) were within 15 foot radius.
They were ALWAYS within a 15 foot radius.
The youngest was in the pack-and-play wanting to get out.
My middle son was in the bathroom with the door open. There was a trail of unidentifiable moisture.
My oldest was screaming.
REFRESH.
Still no email.
I got up with a wad of paper towels in my hand and a spray bottle to try to sanitize the path to the bathroom that turned into cleaning the floor and the boy: undressing, ½ bath, new clothes, re-dressing. DONE.
I walked back to my computer…
Was the email there?
Will Holly survive the morning with three boys?
How many baths will her middle son need today?
{Stay tuned through the commercial break for Episode 2}
Episode 2: Did The Email Arrive? Did It? Did It?
We left Holly in the middle of kitchen chaos with three boys under the age of 5 while expecting a very important email.
A very, very important email.
It was my weekend ritual. Once a week, a friend and I would exchange long emails re-telling our experiences over the last week.
She had two boys. I had three.
They had issues. We had issues.
I told her she was doing great. She told me I was doing great.
I had sent my email several hours earlier.
Her response had not come.
Rewind: I had always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom. For the first 10 years after my husband and I were married, I worked as a Physical Therapist while he finished medical school, internship, residency and military service. Our family started later than we planned (due to infertility), but every morning as I left for work I would remind my husband that it was just a matter of time before I was quitting and living the good life of a stay-at-home mom.
This was the good life?
{cringe}
I felt guilty even asking that inside my head.
It was exactly where I wanted to be, but…
I felt so alone. overwhelmed. sucky.
My sanity hinged on whether an email was returned.
This email correspondence had been going on for over a year. Jodi was the person I could confide in who wouldn’t judge or take my rants too seriously. She knew that despite the drama, complaining and venting, I loved being a mom. It was just hard. And bedtime was so freaking far away…
I checked each boy’s status:
Baby corralled – check.
Toddler & preschooler watching TV – check.
I sat down at the computer.
The email had arrived!
{insert angel choir}
I opened it and read the first sentence…
“I think we should stop emailing…”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Will Holly throw her computer across the room?
Will Holly make it through the day?
Will Holly’s sanity collapse?
{Stay tuned through the commercial break for Episode 3}
Episode 3: Everything is Going To Be OK?