This is the very first episode of Holly’s Animated Life (April 2008). I took my camera to Ikea, but it malfunctioned and then had soooo much to say I ended up drawing it out with markers.
Just a little update: The road from hell is now a toll-way.
My closest IKEA is located at the intersection of the daisy-strewn tollway and the road from hell soon to be a tollway. I took the road from hell soon to be a tollway
because I am stupid.
After much traffic on the road from hell soon to be a tollway, we finally arrived at the big blue happy box, IKEA.
The big blue happy box, IKEA opens at 10. BUT the big blue happy box, IKEA serves breakfast to hungry travelers starting at 9:30.
Unload the minivan…
time for snacks!
The big blue happy box, IKEA serves a full breakfast and many snacks. The big blue happy box, IKEA serves all this and a bag of chips for mere peanuts.
Mmmmm. After a good breakfast we felt like
shiny, happy people shopping at the big blue happy box, IKEA.
Let’s get a cart!
Oh, the carts at the big blue happy box, IKEA have special, magical shopping cart powers.
They may be pushed in ANY direction.
Wow.
Cool.
Super neat.
ANY direction
except forward.
Wow.
Cool.
Super neat.
After about 10 feet…
Wow. *
What the?*
Cool. *
Who designed these?*
Super neat. *
If any IKEA design team personnel steps in my way, I am going to push them over with my cart. They probably have encountered this before and will step directly in front of the cart rendering me helpless. They are so evil and crafty.*
Let’s tour the big blue happy box, IKEA while pushing our magical carts in a sideways direction.
Wow.
Cool.
Super neat.
The big blue happy box, IKEA designers have made the store into a giant maze.
Yeah!
Over the loud speaker IKEA plays big blue happy box music and announces that “the average IKEA customer spends 3 hours in the store” I think that the average IKEA customer is insane and not chasing a collective 4 children.
Let’s run sideways fast so we can get to the place I need to go…
Yeah!
I found things I need. I will just pop them into my magical sideways cart.
Here is what will fit into the magical sideways cart:
This is what I try to fit into the magical sideways cart:
Legend:
circled in purple: things that I fit into my cart pushing really hard
crossed out in purple: things that kept falling out of my cart
circled in green: things I put in my friend’s cart
circled in orange: things I couldn’t fit in either cart and carried
crossed out in orange: things I couldn’t fit in either cart and carried and dropped repeatedly
*angel choir sings*
Look.
Look.
Look at this:
It is an amazing light fixture that looks like a clear bucket. You can fill the bucket up with ANYTHING (except water…
they say specifically no water). You can fill the bucket up with things that coordinate with your room. See how nice it looks in my pretend room?
I just love the big blue happy box, IKEA.
Let’s go check out!
If I can get these magical sideways carts to line up in the narrow aisles…I can go home and stare at my new bucket light.
Push. Push. Push.
Whew!
Now the challenge of unloading my 362 large boxes onto a check-out conveyor belt 1/6 the boxes’ size.
I pushed the magical sideways carts to the minivan, loaded the car and we were off.
Bye. Bye. Big blue happy box, IKEA.
We were out of there in less then 2 hours because
we are WAY below the average IKEA customer…
When IKEA came to the Twin Cities, I went to get in line at 6 a.m. because I was such a groupie I had to be there in the first few hundred allowed in the door.
When they added “self service checkout” IKEA reached a level of nirvanna heretofore claimed only by Redbox and the $1 per night DVD rental.
An IKEA just opened near me last month. Haven’t been yet. But I checked out the website and they have some chairs I want for my dining room. So I will be making a pilgrimage.
And thanks to you, I now know how to do it.
It’s a good thing they have awesome stuff otherwise no sane person would ever go back.
This post rocked!!
this is the funniest post EVER!!! You should sell those pics on Ebay. ;0)
xo ~K
loved this post – I think you MUST win a creativity award for this one! I miss Ikea, mainly for the Swedish Meatball platter and the fabrics!
I loved the picture show. Much more exciting than pictures. I mean really. Sounds like a productive shopping trip. I have only been in an IKEA once and never bought anything. What is wrong with me.
Ha ha! You should leave the memory stick home more often–LOVED the illustrations! 🙂
Love this! I’ve never been to an IKEA, but after seeing your map, I bet I could get around one blindfolded. Right? I’ll just remember to walk sideways.
Ok, this is better than the naked picture I drew of myself.
Um…but how long did you spend on this? It is incredible the things we will endure for our art/blog.
hilarious and the pictures were awesome.
I am in awe of your talent and wit.
I haven’t been to Ikea in awhile my husband refuses to go and dare not take the treacherous two whose arms sweep and grab everything in reach. They who would love to try climbing their way through the store too.