It was a quiet evening at home. The boys were all tucked into their beds…
well, by this time they were most likely congregated in one bed.
Blog-Stedman and I were nestled watching a movie and feeling pretty happy that everything was so calm and it was only 10:30 pm.
I stepped out of bed to run to the bathroom when
my entire body vaulted itself into a standing position on the bed.
And then I screamed.
Blog-Stedman looked up at me…
WHAT’S WRONG crazy screaming woman in my bed?
I pointed down to the floor where
a snake laid coiled on the dark floor approximately 6 inches from where my foot had rested
for less than a nanosecond.
I am no fan of the snake.
I am no fan of the snake in my bedroom.
I might have screamed again.
Poor blog-Stedman. He isn’t really a fan of the snake either, but he was a guy with a screaming wife dancing on the bed so he had no choice but to take action.
Holly, go into the living room and call animal control. I will stay here and watch the snake.
I was
obviously not wearing shoes at that moment which suddenly seemed to be a
very big issue to me. I considered going to get shoes, but decided against it since my closet was now in
snake territory.
So I ran
barefoot and screaming from the room abandoning blog-Stedman and the snake.
I have animal control on speed dial. Since I know them so well, I was aware that they close at 7 pm.
Because of my frequent encounters with
all God’s creatures, I was aware that the local police department takes over for animal control at 7:01 pm each evening so I dialed the non-emergency line to the police department
despite the fact that I feel that a snake in my bedroom is a very big emergency.
While waiting, blog-Stedman would occasionally call out a snake updates.
Not necessary. I was not interested in anything snake-related except snake-removal.
A long-suffering policeman showed up within minutes and seemed a bit amused at me barefoot and in my pajamas pointing him down the hall into
snake territory while plotting how I would never again sleep without shoes.
I might have screamed again.
He was able to capture the snake in a plastic storage bin that I provided.
Whew.
He brought it out to the living room.
Ewww.
For me to see.
No thanks.
He was sweet to ask what I wanted done with the snake.
Don’t care! Just get it out of here.
And that he would return the storage container.
No thanks! I wouldn’t be using that again. Ever. You can keep it!
Statistically the snake was at least 3 feet long and about an inch in diameter. Statistically the snake was not poisonous even though it had markings similar to a copperhead. Statistically I was in no danger.
Statistically I am now wearing
my snake fighting boots in the house.
Thats even more exciting then seeing the snake at kids kastle!!Im sorry but L2 may not be coming over for playdates anytime soon.. ohh maybe you can do a lesson on snakes at coop in your house..
I mean, I just don’t think you can ever get enough mileage out of the shorty pajamas and snake fighting boots get-up, Holly. Particularly dancing around on top of your bed. Exvepy for the snake, it doesn’t sound like the night was a total loss. For Blog Stedman OR the policeman.
I’m just sad that this story didn’t include “Holly’s Animated Life” drawings. I think a “re-publish” with a draw-ring of Holly standing on the bed in her (possibly) shorty pajamas is COMPLETELY necessary. Cuz I just can’t picture the scene without it!
ACK!!! Snakes suck big-time! My son who was 2 at the time was in our backyard with my husband one afternoon when, not 2 feet in front of him, my husband spotted…wait for it…wait for it…a copperhead. No joke! If my son had been bitten, it would have killed him. Did I mention I, too, am no fan of the snake! Glad you’ve got your boots on.
And that would have been the night I killed over with a heart attack. Is killed a real word?
Oh, I totally would have frreaked out also… bugs are ok, for a snake my blog-Stedman would also have to handle it. Or the cops.
Love the reenactment!
LOVE the re-enactment! I think that you’re pretty brave, though … as I would have stayed on the bed until someone came and got the snake out of the room!
I was waiting for the part where you were all ashamed because it was a toy snake. Definitely not cool! I would have freaked out…..
Oh my word! Seriously, I would have to move. My husband found a snake that was about three inches long in our flowerbed on Sunday and I contemplated repacking all the boxes and relocating our family to a snake-free zone.
Love the reenactment photo but am shocked there are no real photos. All your cameras must have been in the “snake zone”
ACK! I would have passed out. I think I need to get a pair of snake fighting boots just in case a snake shows up in my house.