the world’s biggest exaggeration

All three of my boys are going through a phase of exaggeration.

At least I think it is a phase.

boy of 9 exaggerates and looks uncertain

Come to think of it it might be a genetic flair for drama.

I hear some of the stories at home, but can only imagine what might be overheard at the school playground.

Yesterday I got a little taste of what it might be like.   I was driving home with my boys plus a friend, Lukas, and the following conversation occurred after they all agreed that the restroom at school was gross…

Lukas(7):   I once went without going to the bathroom for 7 hours!

Rhett(4):   Wow.

Reid(7):   I never go to the bathroom.*

*this is actually NOT an exaggeration

Ryan(9):   I once went for TWO WHOLE days without going to the bathroom.   That is very close to the record.

Me:   That is NOT an appropriate record to break.   I don’t want to be taking boys to the hospital because they refuse to pee.

Ryan:   I really did.   I didn’t go for two days.   I almost broke the Guinness World Record.   You can look it up.

Me:   Again, no one in this car has my permission to attempt to break that record.   And come to think of it, I am not sure there even IS a record for not peeing.

Ryan:   There IS a record.   You can look it up when we get home.   I didn’t break that record.   I broke another record.

Me:   Ryan, in order to be in the World Record Book you have to go through a process where someone official witnesses that you broke the record.

Ryan:   I did!   I am in the book.

Me:   You are NOT in the book.   No one from the book came and watched you do anything.

Ryan:   Do you have the most recent edition?

Me:   No.

Ryan:   That is the one I am in.

Me:   RYAN!   You are NOT in the book.   I promise you.

Ryan:   I am too.   I broke the record and I am in the 2010 edition.

Me:   You are not in the book.

Ryan:   I am!   Prove it.

Me:   You are under 18 so you would need MY signature to be in the book and I didn’t sign anything.

Ryan:   Oh…

17 Comments

  1. the thing that is getting me is how grown-up he looks in the pic above….. when did that happen?

  2. That was impressive. And if it’s not a phase, maybe he can be a senator someday. 🙂

  3. Definitely a strong Political Career of some sort. Or Great in Sales..either one. LOL

  4. Ha! Jason says ” That is the MOST ridiculously outrageous story he’s ever heard in the history of his life”
    Funny man..
    On another note just to get Ryan goose. Landry IS actually in the world record book with Harley for being part of the biggest Flash Mob dance at celebrate freedom last summer.
    We filled out the paperwork and everything.. SO HA!!

  5. OMG! I LOVE this kid! And my kids, too, have a genetic predisposition towards ever so slight exaggeration. And since we’re on the subject, my 16-year-old son, who loves to torment me with sadder-than-heck stories about the two freaking years I made him go to school, was having a very similarly and disappointingly no more mature discussion in the car tonight. He said he used to never pee at school (first grade) because he couldn’t get his pants re-buttoned and the teachers couldn’t help him because they weren’t allowed to touch students AT ALL much less on their pants (this is probably true) and so he held it all day and it was horrible. His older sister was like, “dude – that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard…” and he was like, “my fingers weren’t powerful like they are now…it was HARD to get those buttons buttoned….do you know how hard the button is on top of the zipper?” and she was like, “I’m totally wearing jeans RIGHT NOW so YES and that is the most pathetic story in the world…like kids would just be exploding left and right if everyone had the same problem as you….” and it went on for THE ENTIRE 30 minutes until we got home. But even Joel never went 2 days….your kid is freaking AWESOME and I bet if you super-glued the little booger’s snap/button shut he could totally break the record all official-like.

  6. This is so funny! I once took a class about gender differences, and we watched this video which showed boys/men at all different ages “communicating” to each other. No matter what age they were, the conversations ALWAYS became a one-up conversation, just like this! We learned that is one way boys feel ‘connected’ to each other. Girls have to touch, like shoulders, hands etc. But this made me laugh, it’s so perfect!

  7. All I can say is WOW! You think he was trying to impress his friend! I hear more tall tales when friend’s are around.

  8. I don’t think this exaggeration tick is gender based. Teen daughter does something similar, on Facebook, but it’s for accomplishments that are even less pretty than monumental bladder control.

  9. What the heck?! Mine do the same thing and it drives me crazy nuts. Not only are they exaggerators they are one uppers of each other. Argh!

  10. *snort*

    Love it when you’re able to officially out-logic them. The dead silence is hilarious!!

  11. Okay I just stumbled across this blog post… Besides making me laugh so hard I cried, my question is… what record did he claim to break? He has me curious now…. LOL

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *