I am a realistic girl. I have 3 boys. I believe I am more then blessed. Blog-Stedman and I are NOT going for #4 in attempt to “get a girl”. The only way I get a girl is to obtain a daughter-in-law. I now have the extremely important task of raising my boys well. So well, that well-rounded, intelligent, common-sense-laden girls will be attracted to them.
I have been brainwashing the boys that I will choose a wife for them. This way when I back down and just request veto power it will look reasonable. All in the master plan…mwah. ha. ha…
In my quest to raise quality girl bait, I am teaching the obvious manners. I have encountered some less obvious areas that I need to work on here at the house with the boys. These are things that may be age appropriate now, but would be serious red flags to any girl worth her salt.
Here is my list of things that might be OK at 2-4 years old, but definitely NOT even remotely OK at 24 years old:
1. Binkys, sippy cups, and only eating on plastic plates.
2. Sleeping in a crib.
3. Running down to mommy and daddy’s bed in the middle of the night and climbing in.
4. Sitting on mommy’s lap while she pees.
5. Hanging out with mommy while she is in the shower.
6. Screaming “wipe me!” after pooping on the potty.
7. Enjoying a good “potty dance” as performed by mommy.
8. Peek-a-boo games with everyone.
9. Requesting food be cut into small pieces.
10. Bathing in a small tub with 2 other brothers.
11. Sneaking to eat toothpaste from the tube.
12. Calling McDonald’s “Old McDonalds”.
13. Eating “regular food” only to qualify for dessert status.
14. Wearing a blue power ranger suit 24/7.
15. Wearing Transformer underwear.
16. Wearing footed PJs.
17. Tricycle is only means of independent transportation.
18. Believing the finest food is served at Chuck E. Cheese.
19. Throwing tantrums on a whim.
20. Still living with mommy and daddy.
CRAP. I didn’t account for the obvious red flag of future mother-in-law with a detailed trapping plan…
Oh and I forgot: these were hilarious and brought back memories. It makes me wonder if never actually solve problems but, rather, just outgrow them.
Mine is further along – late teens. One of my challenges is convincing him that playing World of Warcraft on-line does not qualify as socializing.
Mother of two boys and…thinking…
I’ve been saying the only way I’ll get a girl is to fly to China for one. I hadn’t thought of a trap! Aha!
Excellent Plan B.
Re: Number 15: Are Spiderman boxer briefs okay?
What Hol, trying to say CEC is NOT fine dining. At least you are trying to get rid of red flags and teach manners. My son is just going into the seminary to save me the trouble.
I suggest teaching them to do laundry. It might cancel out the MIL issue if they can do it well, with proper sorting and all.
Ok, I am right there with you on the whole “sitting on mom’s lap while she pees” thing, but 13? What’s wrong with 13?
You mean our kids are going to get married ?! I am sooo not ready to discuss…
Too funny! 4 had me rolling.
Hey, I noticed you had a post of mine in your pink box the other day. Fun!
Hey, let us know what you catch in your trap in 22 years!
Wait, I am supposed to be “raising him to be a gentleman”? I was just trying to get to naptime…crap!