I am a realistic girl. I have 3 boys. I believe I am more then blessed. Blog-Stedman and I are NOT going for #4 in attempt to “get a girl”. The only way I get a girl is to obtain a daughter-in-law. I now have the extremely important task of raising my boys well. So well, that well-rounded, intelligent, common-sense-laden girls will be attracted to them.
I have been brainwashing the boys that I will choose a wife for them. This way when I back down and just request veto power it will look reasonable. All in the master plan…mwah. ha. ha…
In my quest to raise quality girl bait, I am teaching the obvious manners. I have encountered some less obvious areas that I need to work on here at the house with the boys. These are things that may be age appropriate now, but would be serious red flags to any girl worth her salt.
Here is my list of things that might be OK at 2-4 years old, but definitely NOT even remotely OK at 24 years old:
1. Binkys, sippy cups, and only eating on plastic plates.
2. Sleeping in a crib.
3. Running down to mommy and daddy’s bed in the middle of the night and climbing in.
4. Sitting on mommy’s lap while she pees.
5. Hanging out with mommy while she is in the shower.
6. Screaming “wipe me!” after pooping on the potty.
7. Enjoying a good “potty dance” as performed by mommy.
8. Peek-a-boo games with everyone.
9. Requesting food be cut into small pieces.
10. Bathing in a small tub with 2 other brothers.
11. Sneaking to eat toothpaste from the tube.
12. Calling McDonald’s “Old McDonalds”.
13. Eating “regular food” only to qualify for dessert status.
14. Wearing a blue power ranger suit 24/7.
15. Wearing Transformer underwear.
16. Wearing footed PJs.
17. Tricycle is only means of independent transportation.
18. Believing the finest food is served at Chuck E. Cheese.
19. Throwing tantrums on a whim.
20. Still living with mommy and daddy.
CRAP. I didn’t account for the obvious red flag of future mother-in-law with a detailed trapping plan…
Some girls mike like number 14, but they would probably get the veto from you.
I have had an *interesting* mil experience myself and am now the defacto mil to my oldest’s boyfriend. My advice if you want to have a great relationship is “don’t be demanding.” The less you demand, the more they want to give.
I’m all for #20 and #6 absolute turn offs! Although number 15 the Transformer underwear could be sort of cute.
Humm…my husband still calls it “Old MacDonalds”
Please document this and print for publication. Had I’d known at 24, I would have never dated guys still doing half of these 🙁
And I am trying to raise my girls not to bring home the dead beats that want the woman to support them. Guess it’s not easy on either side of the game.
Ahh, Thank you. As the mother of boys, what should I do if a couple of my boys are still doing some of these at age 5 nad 6? What age is eating regular food only to qualify for dessert status unacceptable? I am pretty sure my 6 year old will be doing this until the day he dies.
KEEP BELIEVING
Here’s something to put in your arsenal for when they hit their teens:
“You know, girls are taught to judge a guy by how he treats his mother.”
If we’re on our way to MIL-hood, we might as well profit from the trip, right?
Oh, and by the way, I think you might be wrong about the Power Rangers suit.
Great plan! I remember when we found out Reese would be a boy, I was so excited to “raise a gentleman”. Now I’d just settle for raising a human with manners 🙂
The dreaded MIL status. HA!
I think I actually dated grown men who still had a few of these bad habits kicking around…namely, tricycle as only means of transportation.
Oh and do show them how to use the washing machine. When My Better Half announced he wasn’t sure how the damn thing worked the other day I had to stop and ask myself, “How did I get here?”