The breakfast champion…

Fig. A:*Do as I say, not as I do.*

I have been a big believer in something I came across while pregnant with Ryan. I read every parenting book ever written during that time so please don’t make me tell you which one it was, but I think it was in the “Baby Whisperer”. The quote is lost on me, but it said something to the point that you need to START as you plan to PROCEED.

The technique is really successful. Most things in this house have been parented in this way…naps, bedtime, sitting at mealtime, snacks only in the kitchen, etc. The kids are too young to argue when you implement it and then when they reach arguing age it is the way it has always been done so the debate doesn’t surface.

One area has NOT received this technique. Breakfast. It started out innocent enough. Breakfast seemed to be the time that I had the most time. Breakfast seemed to be the time I could break a few rules. Breakfast became the time the kids could choose what they wanted to eat. Breakfast is now spiraling out of control. Breakfast is now a crazy train and I want off.

Let’s take a look at Fig. A (above):
Our subject is a 2 y/o who woke mommy up at 6 am. saying, “EAT!”. His patient mother held off that demand for 30 minutes because it is SATURDAY. At 6:31 am the subject ate 1 1/2 bowls of instant oatmeal and 1/2 cup of soymilk. He then yelled, “DONE!”

Approximately 23 minutes later he returns to the kitchen, pulls the Quaker oat box out of the pantry and demands “OATMEAL”. His patient and attractive mother quietly explains how he already had oatmeal. “THIS OATMEAL!” he screams. His patient, attractive and loving mother thinks to herself, “well at least he is screaming for something healthy…I guess I can’t turn that down”. PAUSE

*Do as I say, not as I do.*

7 minutes later the oatmeal is made. The oatmeal is portioned and set in front of subject. Subject screams, “FRIDGE! HOT!” His patient, attractive, loving and helpful mother delivers the child size oatmeal portion to the freezer to cool down. PAUSE

*Do as I say, not as I do.*

Subject continues to be a royal pain in the butt while the oatmeal is in the fridge. His patient, attractive, loving, helpful and opportunistic mother then grabs the camera to take the Fig. A picture of this tyranny. PAUSE

*You can do this. If you are suffering at the hands of your children and losing control, it can at least give you a blog subject for the day. It is kind of a lemonade out of lemons thing.*

His patient, attractive, loving, helpful, opportunistic and harried mother takes the child size oatmeal portion out of the freezer and gives it back to the subject. The subject takes 5 bites and yells, “TOAST!” PAUSE

*Do as I say, not as I do.*

Ya, the freaking crazy mother made toast while Figs. B and C entered the kitchen.

*Let’s just leave it at do as I say, not as I do…


  1. That’s perfect advice, I’d say. And you make me laugh….

  2. Burgh Baby's Mom says:

    At least Figure A is a cute little tyrant.

  3. fullheartandhands mama says:

    Too funny. He’s a lucky little guy to have such a ” patient, attractive, loving, helpful, opportunistic and harried mother.” Well, maybe not the harried part.

    I can so relate. So many things start out innocently enough until you are giving a bath, reading 37 books, singing two songs, patting the head, getting a drink of water, and praying, every, single night. Then you still have another child or two to put to bed. Hypothetically speaking of course.

  4. when they are that cute, it is hard to say no. 🙂
    do you mean that our children aren’t meant to control us and tell us what to do and when to do it??? 😉
    great post! 🙂 your a good mommmy!!
    have a good weekend. hugs, jenn

  5. Jenn @ Juggling Life says:

    2 + 1/2? He should be making YOU breakfast.

    JK–he’s lucky to have such a patient and attractive chef!

  6. I am not patient enough to deal with breakfast requests–they get what they get here–snack after school are our ‘fun time’

  7. Happy Campers says:

    Since you’re taking requests, could you get me some powdered donuts since it’s Saturday morning? 🙂


  8. jennifer h says:

    I wish I could learn to use the phrase “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” The Girl in our house is the one who thinks it’s Village Inn at our house. At least yours has the excuse of being 2 years old.

    He IS a cute tyrant.

    And isn’t everything these days blog material? (I’m sure this will start to annoy my kids someday…for now, though? We’re safe)

    Great post.

  9. Tootsie Farklepants says:

    I’ve dealt with similar issues except mine were at dinner.

  10. slow panic says:

    this will crack you up: as i was reading this i was printing out a chart to put together a month long menu, because i am so tired of the food thing. i’vfe had the same breakfast deal at my house (minus the healthy oatmeal).

  11. spinning in our own direction says:

    At least your kids will eat oatmeal.. youll love this mine say it looks like “boogers”

  12. I thought Saturday mornings were for Pop-Tarts. That way you could just give it to them and then go back to bed. J/K

    Really its Lucky Charms, then go back to bed.

  13. Cute post – as usual! I’m with Valarie – Pop-Tarts and go back to bed!

    Thanks for coming by. Hope you are having a good weekend and I’ll see you soon. Kellan

  14. anglophilefootballfanatic says:

    I’ve met that Figure A & he’s adorable…I’d have a hard time saying no, too.

    And, totally Baby Whisperer. She rules our house.

  15. Tootsie Farklepants says:

    I tagged you for a memoir meme. You’re welcome.

  16. Great post! I remember those days! You are an awesome mom!

    Thanks for the sweet words, I THINK I fixed the feed!

    Have a blessed Sunday!

  17. That’s where it all started going wrong for me to…breakfast.

    I think I created two little monsters all because I gave into their every whim at breakfast.

    It’s too late for us, but I hope the others reading your post will heed your advice…Do as you say, not as you do!

  18. Lil Mouse says:

    wow. parenting with intent. there is not enough of this in the world. you get an A +++++++ in my book!

  19. Sounds like you and I both have our own breakfast tyrants with whom we live, ‘cept mine is eight and I’m nowhere near as patient and kind as you are. Give it a few years and you’ll be throwing bowls too.

  20. Best advice post ever!

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