So, remember that possum my husband and I found on the creepy neighbor’s fence? You know…the white piggie my little boys found. Well, little Miss Piggie found another spot under our deck to relax during the daytime and I only found out because I was washing dishes while my youngest was outside playing. It was then that through the kitchen window I watched as he began poking sticks and little fingers into the spaces between the deck boards.
In a new spot.
Ladies and gentlemen–meet Momma Possum:
Ain’t she awesome?
Especially when you stick a foam bat in her mouth.
(Hurry, someone call PETA.)
You may be asking yourself right now why exactly I think this is a momma possum I’ve got here. You may even be assuming that I am sexist with assumptions. And to that I would say what do you call these?
Ahem, and these?
Er, I mean possums. Momma and her four baby possums needed to find a new home quicker than a fly on a turd. I wouldn’t have cared so much if momma and her babies lived under my deck if my boys were A.) nonexistant or B.) not curious, but alas they are quite the opposite and so I called animal control. Again. Again they told me to put down the $50 deposit or have my husband pull up the deck boards and they’d get the critters. Once I relayed that information back to my husband, he was all forget that and did the dirty work himself.
My boys couldn’t have been more proud…I mean more curious.
Then that’s when I got the begging to keep one as a pet. Just one baby possum pretty please.
I had to tell my husband no. No Way.
I called animal control to come get their possums and set them free, but not before my husband held one of the babies hostage and took it around the neighborhood for our neighbors to see.
I’ve never felt like more of a redneck than I did two days ago.
PS: Animal control finally showed up and took off with the possum family. They set them free for us. Of course, we found another baby possum after hours and so my husband took to being it’s momma for the night carrying it around in his hoodie pocket and petting it and kissing it. Yes, I just said he kissed the danged thing. Several times.
PPS: I called animal control first thing in the morning. Cannot let that man get too attached.