Being a mom is stressful and I don’t think that is something any mom could argue. But recently, a research study proves U.S. Moms Are The Most Stressed and We’re Not Surprised.
Science Says U.S. Moms Are The Most Stressed And We’re Not Surprised
Motherhood comes with all sorts of perks but also comes with an insane amount of stress. So much, that I am surprised many of us aren’t fully grey by our 30’s.
The amount of stress we put on ourselves and each other, is shocking. The reality is, the U.S. is far behind other countries when it comes to supporting moms and helping them lead stress-free lives.
Sociologist, Caitlyn Collins, spent five years studying parenthood in four different western countries. She found that moms in the United States have it the worst and wrote about it in her new book, Making Motherhood Work: How Women Manage Careers and Caregiving.
Working moms are caught between two seemingly incompatible ideals: the perfect employee and the perfect parent https://t.co/2VNOFdTTz8
— Psychology Today (@PsychToday) March 10, 2019
“Across the countries where I conducted interviews, one desire remained constant among mothers. Women wanted to feel that they were able to combine paid employment and child-rearing in a way that seemed equitable and didn’t disadvantage them at home or at work.” (8)
She set out to study work-life balance, and instead discovered the prevalence of work-life conflict. Sweden leads in support of families with children where mothers and fathers approach an equal share in child-rearing and bread-winning and parenthood, which is felt to be compatible with work.
The U.S. on the other hand, is in last place in supporting families and children.
“The United States is an outlier among Western Industrialized countries for its lack of support for working mothers. American mothers stood out in their experience of crushing guilt and work-family conflict. American mothers attempt to solve this by changing jobs, becoming more efficient or buying the right breast-pump. These are all “individual strategies that approach child-rearing as a private responsibility and work-family conflict as a personal problem.”
And she’s not wrong.
We live in a society where we worry about money, being a good mom, and even the way we appear to others.
We constantly try to please everyone around us with little regard to pleasing ourselves.
So, what can we do?
Well, we can start by getting help. Support from family, friends and even professionals to help overcome our stresses and worries.
When asked in a recent interview what Collin wants to let American moms know, she responded:
“I want to tell mothers that this is not your fault.”
“My hope in the book is: Look what it is like elsewhere, it can be different and better here, too, but it’s going to require finding a way around this very individualized way of understanding our lives in the US, we have to think of ourselves more collectively that we do right now.”
So, it looks like her book will be a great resource as well.
Remember mama, you are doing great and you’ve got this!