how to get your dog in the car

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Objective: By the end of today’s lesson the student will be able to properly demonstrate the necessary steps to successfully place a dog in an automobile.

Time: 51 minutes

Laboratory Information: Students will be divided into groups of two. These partners should have good working knowledge of the other individual’s problem solving skills. If the partners have been married for 17 years, this is a bonus.

Required Materials:
(refer to figure A)
1. 50 lb. bulldog approximately 8 years old with a skin condition.
2. Two blue plastic child’s golf clubs.
3. One yellow plastic child’s golf club.
4. One green bucket.
5. One hose fitted with multi-sprayer capabilities including “power wash”.
6. One child’s black plastic billy club from a Halloween police costume.
7. Standard garden rake.
8. One child’s white plastic space grabber from a Halloween spaceman costume.
8. Grey minivan.

Fig. A

1. Make arrangements for quick get away vacation to Casinos with another couple.
2. Make reservation for dog at local boarding location.
3. Go to back yard to retrieve dog.
4. Open back door to allow dog to walk through house into garage.
5. Open back of SUV for dog to be pushed up into.
6. Note that dog heads straight for the minivan and scurries underneath.
7. Note that dog is lodged under minivan.
8. Note disgusted expression on dog’s face.
9. Call to dog.
10. Repeat.
11. Repeat with a happier voice to entice dog.
12. Repeat with an exasperated voice to demonstrate frustration to dog.
13. Retrieve bread from kitchen.
14. Lay out path of bread crumbs that start at dog’s nose and extend to area OUTSIDE the under portion of the minivan.
15. Watch dog carefully as dog refuses all food.
16. Place minivan in neutral and try to push minivan back avoiding wheel to dog contact.
17. Honk the minivan horn wildly.
18. Observe dog not moving.
19. Start minivan and place gear into reverse.
20. Have partner monitor dog’s distance to wheel with hands.
21. Slowly drive backward.
22. Watch partner’s hands get closer and closer together.
23. Stop when partner motions that dog’s body is next to wheel.
24. Repeat the honking.
25. Turn off car.
26. Fill green bucket with water.
27. Throw water from opposite side of minivan into the general direction of dog.
28. Note that dog has not budged.
29. Get out hose with power wash functioning head.
30. Point power wash spray in general direction of dog’s butt.
31. Note how dog is irritated by water.
32. Note how dog snaps at water with teeth.
33. Note how dog’s position remains unchanged.
34. Retrieve two blue child’s golf clubs.
35. Poke irritated dog.
36. Note how dog bites golf clubs.
37. Note how dog’s position remains unchanged.
38. Retrieve child’s billy club (black plastic from Halloween police costume).
39. Retrieve child’s space grabber (white plastic from Halloween spaceman costume). Not pictured.
40. Use billy club in one hand and space grabber in the other to attempt collar placement on dog’s neck.
41. Note how dog is biting at billy club and space grabber.
42. Have partner offer yellow child’s golf club to dog to chew on during collar placement.
43. Recommend that next dog might be one with a larger HEAD then NECK for better collar placement options.
44. Once collar is tentatively placed, one partner should be manning hose while the other is pulling dog forward.
45. Repeat steps 40-44 as needed due to collar slippage.
46. Note that dog’s position remains unchanged.
47. Refrain from above steps out of exhaustion.
48. Take a break.
49. Retrieve the rake.
50. One partner should then lay on ground on opposite side of minivan and use rake forcefully to PUSH dog forward.
51. The other partner should then PULL on collar of dog carefully watching for collar slippage.
52. Steps 50 & 51 should be done simultaneously.
53. Note that dog’s position has slightly changed!
57. Note that dog is freed from underneath minivan.
58. Walk dog to back of SUV.
59. Push dog up into back of SUV.
60. Note how wet dog shakes all over inside of SUV.

Assessment: If you have properly followed all the above steps, your finished product will look like this:

Class Dismissed.

Teacher disclaimer: No 50 lb. bulldog was harmed in the making of this lesson ONLY through the amazing patience exhibited by the lab partners.

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She is the mom of three boys ages 7, 10 and 12 who partially homeschools. She believes that you shouldn't have to buy stuff to have fun when there is a kitchen junk drawer full of possibilities.

She can also be found at Business 2 Blogger, on Twitter as @QuirkyMommaSite or @Texasholly, but her favorite place to hang out is on Google +.

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